'All the Things we Never Knew'

This was a heart-breaking type of reading.  It chronicles flashbacks of a woman refocusing past memories to see the signs of her husband’s mental illness, which they largely ignored together, thinking it was something else (like, too much coffee, too much stress, etc) until he gets a formal diagnosis once the symptoms were too large to ignore.  They did not have a family treatment plan in place following the diagnosis, he takes his own life, and she and her daughter had to navigate a new world; education of mental illness in genetics, behavior, and general piece-connecting to a chaotic puzzle. The heart-breaking aspect is from the missed calls of love...the easy changes that could have been if they were addressed and not brushed off...and of course what the aftermath of sudden death can do to a loved one and cause a mental health disruption of their own. 

The book is peppered with general facts and statistics around mental health and quality of life that is largely unknown to the general population.  I think if you have been affected by mental health first-hand, or by proxy, this information is very familiar to you.

There is a highlight of self-stigmatizing his mental health illness in this book...which is ever-so relatable.  I know, personally, when you do safely open up and begin to walk the path with someone at your side, it is so empowering to have the support through the conduit of understanding.  And life can operate at ease with these handfuls of people...but it just takes one person, usually just a passing-through character in life, who can reinforce all the self-stigmatizing concerns.  This will be the setbacks that feel like you just watched your root cellar collapse, and you wonder ‘why didn’t I put more supports in’...yet you are too exhausted to actually rebuild.  You know your inner saboteur is now in control. ‘Keep the strong people around you while you are becoming the stronger person within’...a random thought I had towards the end of reading this woman’s reflection journey on this incredibly hard phase and transition of her life.

#53books52weeks #selfstigmatizing #atermath #difficultconversations #gardenplanning #dothework #mentalhealthandmarriage #reflection #yourjourneyisthedestination